We have an interesting habit as human beings.
When something goes wrong, we can think about it for hours.
We replay the conversation. We wonder what we should have said. We think about the decision we made and imagine how things might have gone differently.
When something goes well?
We often move on.
I see this in coaching. Someone will spend quite a bit of time telling me about something they’re struggling with, and somewhere in the conversation they’ll casually mention something they handled really well.
Wait a minute.
Let’s talk about that too.
What did you do?
What helped?
What was different this time?
There is useful information there.
Maybe you spoke up when you normally would have stayed quiet.
Maybe you handled a difficult conversation without becoming defensive.
Maybe you set a boundary and discovered the other person was completely fine with it.
Maybe you tried something that made you nervous and realized you were more capable than you expected.
Those experiences become evidence we can draw from the next time something feels difficult.
This doesn’t mean ignoring mistakes. We need to learn from those too.
But if we’re only collecting evidence of what went wrong, we’re working with an incomplete picture.
So here’s something to try this week:
When something goes better than expected, don’t immediately move on.
Pause.
Ask yourself why.
You might discover a strength, skill, or bit of progress you hadn’t given yourself credit for.
And that is worth noticing.