After reading a piece of news, I heard myself say, ‘wow life is getting more and more…’
And I stopped.
I caught myself and asked, “how do I want to consciously finish that statement”?
More and more what?
For the past few years, I’ve been examining the language I use. Especially what’s running behind the scenes. You know, the words and phrases that are on automatic pilot.
They can go unnoticed and may seem harmless. But the truth is that they aren’t harmless.
For example, do you find yourself saying anything like:
I’m crazy busy…
I have a mind like a sieve.
There’s never enough time.
I’m so tired of that.
It’s driving me nuts, etc.?
Then of course, there are all the full-blown stories we tell ourselves day in and day out.
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s how powerful the mind can be for both positive and negative.
I also know it takes great dedication, awareness, tools and techniques to discipline my wily mind!
And in my mind, there is no greater focus for me, because I know I create my reality by the thoughts I keep.
One technique I choose, is to aim for a 3:1 ratio in my mind. It’s critical to have this 3:1 ratio of positive vs negative.
Why? Research has shown that if you’re above this ratio, you’ll be feeling uplifted by a vortex of positivity. If you’re below it, you’ll be feeling continually dragged down by a vortex of negativity.
The reason you need 3 positives to counteract 1 negative, is that due to evolutionary reasons the brain holds onto and amplifies the negative far more than the positive.
It was helpful for our distant ancestors to remember what color the poisonous snake was that nearly killed them so that they could avoid it in the future.
But not nearly as important to remember the colors of the beautiful butterfly.
This minimum of 3:1 ration should be maintained both inside and outside your mind.
That means aiming to maintain a 3:1 positive to negative ratio in the form of thoughts in your head.
And also externally, it means maintaining a 3/1 ratio of positive vs negative interactions in relationships that matter to you.
Today pay attention to when you’re having negative moments inside your head.
These are moments when you might feel stress, anxiety, anger, disappointment, blame, guilt, shame, self-doubt, regret, etc.
These moments might happen in reaction to yourself, to others, or to events or circumstances.
When you notice them, counter by commanding your mind to come up with at least 3 positives.
They don’t have to be big or complicated things. Let me explain.
Let’s say you catch yourself beating yourself up for a recent failure.
Counter that with 3 positive thoughts:
A gift in that failure, is that I can avoid a much bigger failure later.
Or consider looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling love for yourself. (Tip: if you have difficulty looking at yourself and feeling love for yourself, try looking at a picture of yourself as a young child and feeling the love for this child)
Or feel really curious to discover something new.
These can each be quick and small things, but they will begin to shift your brain activation to net positive.
Make it fun! Good luck!